Very superstitious?

A wedding is fraught with traditions, lots and lots of traditions. In the course of skimming the net for wedding whatnots, I stumbled across a handful of websites detailing the traditions and customs of this lifelong institution.

Anyway, it all really starts with the proposal doesn't it? A long long time ago suitors would send a pair of gloves to their intended as a proposal. If she wore the gloves to church the following Sunday it signified acceptance of his proposal. The Welsh were even more offbeat - the suitor would carve a spoon and present it to his beloved who, if she accepted his proposal, wear the spoon around her neck on a ribbon! Not quite the bling we're used to. Ladies rejoice! 2008 is nigh! It is considered acceptable for the female half to propose on 29 February in a leap year...something to do with the 29th not being a "real" day therefore, traditions held no weight on that day.

Engagement, or betrothal rings used to be considered partial payment for the bride and al pledge of the groom's intentions hence the reference to an engagement as a contract for marriage. I believe modern etiquitte dictates that should the engagement be broken by the male half, the female half gets to keep the ring, however, if she ends the engagement she must return the ring not unlike our modern concept of sale & purchase contracts - if the buyer terminates the contract, the vendor gets to keep the deposit and vice versa. Yes, it would seem us women are chattels to be traded at the whims and fancies of the male species. Did you know that women have sued over broken engagements?

Engagement rings weren't always the diamond that we're all so familiar with these days. Until the 15th century, only kings wore diamonds and gems were reserved for the upper echleons of society...all this to maintain a clear division between social classes. As the years went by, the diamond emerged as the symbol of betrothal because its clarity and brilliance reflected innocence and purity, while it's strength signaled the hope of an enduring love. Thank God for De Beers and it's now legendary "A Diamond is Forever" campaign which firmly entrenched the diamond and THE engagement rock in our minds forever and ever Amen. All wedding and engagement rings are worn on the third finger of the left hand. The vein in this finger was once believed to go directly to the heart which is closely associated with love.

Your engagement ring signifies that you are pledged to a lucky so and so. For the material girl in all of us, that bit of bling shouts (or whispers, as the case may be) of your man's commitment to you or in some cases it can be an indication that he should be committed...to a mental institution...but that's another post altogether :p

Choosing a wedding day isn't made any easier if you want to stick to tradition.

"Monday for wealth
Tuesday for health
Wednesday the best day of all
Thursday for losses
Friday for crosses
Saturday for no luck at all"

Next you have to pick a month...

"Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last."

A longer wordier dictator-like rhyme is available here.

Then the colour of your wedding dress...

"Married in white, you have chosen right.
Married in blue, your lover is true.
Married in pink, your fortunes will sink.
Married in green, you will not long be seen.
Married in red, you'll wish you were dead.
Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow.
Married in brown, you'll live out of town.
Married in grey, you'll live far away.
Married in black, you'll wish you were back."

Is there no end to these wretched rhymes!?!

The commonly repeated "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" is familiar to every bride. This dates back to Victorian times when the the full version was "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe"... now where can I get a silver sixpence for my shoe? and what on earth does it mean?

• "Something old" represents the link with the bride's family and the past.
• "Something new" represents the good fortune and success in her future.
• "Something borrowed" reminds her that friends and family will be there for her when she needs help.
• "Something blue" symbolises faithfulness and loyalty.
  

My favourite superstition is associated with dominance and shopping. It is said that the first partner to purchase something new after the wedding will be the dominant one in the relationship. The perfect excuse to go shopping! Maybe stop at a kedai runcit between church and home??

These traditions are just the tip of the iceberg. I haven't even delved into the Chinese wedding superstitions and pantangs (taboos) yet! Google "wedding traditions & superstitions" and you get this. It would be crippling to have to organise your wedding around all these traditions!

On a more personal note, it's 12 weeks to the day and all is well. Parents are polishing off guest lists, flowers & pretty bits and other scary logistic things are all in capable (read: parental) hands and it looks like I'm on track with my dress although I do have a little itty bitty shoe dilemma.

We went wedding band hunting yesterday - B has FAT fingers! I can't believe that nowhere in this country sells plain wedding bands!! Everything has fancy swirls and whatnot on it. You have to custom order plain bands...oh the irony of it *sigh* To engrave or not to engrave, that is the question. Decisions...decisions...decisions...the list goes on...and on...and on...and on...

One Of A Kind

If you're looking for a unique, original, one of a kind, artistically and professionally done, personalised and have great faith, this may be what you're looking for.

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Memoirs of A Bride (Part 1)

I'm woken up at 9am by my mum and aunts who announce themselves in my room (I should've locked the door). I'm still a bit sleepy from the night before where my family and my 3 friends (Ainul, Bibi & Sera) came over for the AF finals but I manage to pull myself out of bed feeling somewhat invigorated. My 2 months worth of preparations will now be put to test. I'm not feeling the slightest bit nervous. I've been feeling extremely ecstatic for the past few weeks or so.

Mum reminds me that Pehin Yahya and Dato Ahmad (Nasir's uncles) are coming over at 10am for my signing and I go and get ready. For the signing I was asked by Pehin Yahya to read out the paragraph for myself which I did (in my head). I thought it was like if you buy stuff u are asked to read the terms and conditions, you don't really read it out loud rite? I was all quiet, happily reading the paragraph in my head when Pehin Yahya said "Baca.... Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim..". I repeated after and said "Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim" and kept quiet. He then said to read the paragraph and pointed at the 2 nd line so I was stuck contemplating if he wants me to read it from the top or from the 2nd line. So I asked! Hehehe…

After the signing more family members came to the house. I was shoo-ed upstairs and banned to not wander off around the house. So I skipped to my room and played around with my pembalas. Mum came in and said "Belulut!" then came in my grand aunties (many of them) and pulled me out and made me sit on a mat. They had it done like bebedak mandi where every 'old/married' person took turns to bedak me. Our family does not allow un-married people to bedak whoever is getting married. Apparently it's not allowed. They say the unmarried person wont get married if they do it. After that I had to change into kamban n they did the works. That was my bebedak mandi 'cowboy'.

At 2pm Eyan (photographer) came and took pictures of my pembalas and then came Bu Amas (my aunt who was doing my make up). So I sat while she painted my face and then I felt it! The 1 st sign of butterflies in my stomach. I was finally feeling nervous! Erwan (videographer) came and reported for duty, my friends started coming in and filling my room which distracted me during the process of having my make up done. Though it also made my nerves lesser. Make up was done, I ran down to change and use my tudung and came up to have my jewellery, tiara and veil put on.

Geared up, I took pictures with my friends and it was time for doa selamat (after hantar berian). My family members came in and gave the "Jangan ketawa ketawa. Senyum jangan besar. Mata jangan liar" talk. Not long after my 2 aunts came in my room to escort me down to the pelamin. So I sat, looked around, had Zakiyah make faces and distracting me, having the family walk up to me on countless occasions saying that my 'mata liar' and to behave. So to keep my eye at 1 point, I just watched the TV in which Nasir was being 'lectured' about marriage. Then came the time for the 'ijab & kabul' which despite his 1st time that was at the wrong time, his 2nd time was said without a glitch. After that Nasir had to read some 'agreement' where if he were to be missing for 6 months and I complained to authorities, it'd be automatic talak and I thought to myself… He's only just become my husband and he's already talking about divorce! Its like a pre-nup! Nasir went to salam with everyone and then he got escorted upstairs to where I was. Had him touch my head (tapak) and salam-ed (batal wudhu) him followed by him sitting next to me and we 'bersanding'. Everyone then started to head off to eat and Nasir said "sudah" and was about to walk off with them!

We took pictures and more pictures and more pictures and had a little cake cutting thing with more pictures taken. In the evening we went to Ban 3 (his house) to continue taking more pictures. By the time we got back to Mabohai (my house) we were absolutely tired. I managed to admire my hantaran from Nasir for a few minutes but I definitely didn't have the energy to unpack it! If I went back in time 10 years ago to when Nasir and I 1 st went out and told myself that I'd be getting married to Nasir in 10 years I don't think me in the past would've believed it cause its still very surreal to me now. It all feels like I'm in a blissful dream, one that I wont have to worry about waking up and going back to boring life. One could say I'm on cloud nine but a permanent cloud nine.

Memoirs of a Bride (Part 2)

Signing in the morning at my house

Victim of Bebedak Mandi

The stairs done by no other than me. Flowers flown in from KL by Dr Ismail. Bought in SSF by my friend Tasha who gets 50% discount!

Make up artist is my aunt who had her courses in London. Currently she lives in Abu Dhabi so I was lucky she was back on holidays to do my make up.

Hantaran from Nasir which was fixed by his sister in law's family.

Pembalas from me which was fixed by myself. Flowers custom made to my liking. Also flown from KL, also organised by Tasha.

All that glitters are diamonds! Tiara lent by my Aunt (she bought it in Korea). Very bling bracelet and necklace lent by Sera's mum. Bangle lent by my grand mum. Rings lent by my mum. Veil bought from Saffy.

My baju (dress). beads sewn and diamonds stuck on by myself.

Shoes from Prettyfit. A gift from Nasir during Raya last year that I didnt get to use much.

Nasir and uncle during the Akad Nikah.

Envelope made from Digital Impressions (KL)

Wedding favours. Chocolate mud cake from Bakerlyn Cake Shop.

Nasir's ring. Made to order from Diamond & Platinum.

My ring. Also made to order from Diamond & Platinum.

Wedding cake from Empire Hotel. A gift sponsored from my uncle Saiful Bahri.

Pelamin made from Norhayana. Made new for me (i gave them the design).
For more photos, click here.

Bulimic: Thank you for your wonderful contribution Muizzah. Everything looks so lovely, from the cake to the rings. On behalf of The Wedding Blog team, we wish Nasir & you a happy marriage and may you both be blessed by Allah SWT always. Amin.

And the going is rough

So many things to do. So little time to do it. I'm so glad that both families are non-traditional and only demand that we do the bare minimum when it comes to wedding ceremonies. The flow has been decided now we just have to get the people and outfits for each.

I spent a few days in Singapore for work this week but managed to squeeze an hour for a mad dash to Arab Street to get fabric for outfits. I didn't have time to trawl the shops for bling as instructed by mother and grandmother. This is the first time I've heard mother say "don't worry about the cost" when talking about bling! I was overjoyed! Tiffanys??

Shoes. I think the pair of shoes you walk down the aisle in are crucial. It's the pair of shoes that will carry me down the aisle towards the future basically if you want to look at it that way. I'm refuse to wear a pair of crappy cheapo wobbly heeled one time only shoes because in my mind it shows that the event is not important enough to merit a proper pair of solidly made shoes. I believe you should walk towards your future on a solid footing and firm foundation. To that end I'm looking into the budget to see if there's money to get me a pair of Choos.

Dress. Design's sorted. A choice of fabric will be winging its way home with me in a few hours and I'll be seeing my tailor tomorrow. Once that's done then I can concentrate on veil, shoes and accessories. This is the one day you get to wear a tiara without question!

Hair & makeup. Sorted! Who else but the one and only style icon. I couldn't go for anyone less.

Flowers. As if we have a choice! Ken Florist was the only choice. It's all in good hands.

Receptions. Sorted kind of. Venues that can accommodate the number of guests are few and far between so it's not really a choice. I only have one rule - No Karaoke!

The groom needs to be sorted out so I think I'll spend next week doing that together with finalizing invitations. The groom always seems to need sorting out :p

We've embarked on a spiritual journey now that we're required to attend Sunday Mass on a regular basis. I never realised how many familiar faces are regular churchgoers. The bright side is the Sunday morning breakfast after the 8am Mass.

Martina & Ismayadi

Sharing some pics of the couple taken by David Cheok.

I'm not an expert but it's amazing how David always manages to capture and enhance the beauty of his subjects,

and portray the love and laughter and the joy and emotion of his wedding (& engagement) assignments.

I like the way he takes us 'behind the scenes'..

By viewing photos on his site, it is almost as good as being at the event itself.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

We were reminded todat that the institution of marriage is not one to be entered into lightly. The good Reverend sat us down and had a serious chat with us about our intentions. Not having been maried before and not having spent much of my life in church, I didn't have a clue what to expect and so let B lead the way.

Before giving us the requisite forms to fill in, the Reverend asked us the following questions:

1. Have we attained the age of majority?
   
2. Are our parents aware of our intentions?
3. Are we currently married?
   
4. Are we of sound mind?
5. Are we entering into this marriage out of duress or coercion of any kind?
6. Do we have the intention to have a christian marriage and will our children be raised in the framework of the church?

Of course we answered yes, yes, no, yes, no and yes respectively. After impressing onto us the importance of the church as an institution and guide to our lives as a married couple, the good Reverent stops sweating us and hands us the forms to fill in. And here I was thinking that he'd be all fire and brimstone and that I'd have to sign my soul away before he'd say yes.

A church wedding is full of traditions, some of which may be outdated yet hold enough appeal to follow. One that especially appeals to me is the "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" bit that many modern brides still follow. If I were to follow this to the letter then I'm thinking an old pair of blue underwear should take care of old and blue and maybe I can borrow a new pair of Choos from some generous donor.

Another tradition is the bride wearing white to symbolize her purity and innocence...well! not in this day and age! Thank goodness for shades of champagne and ivory - slightly tarnished is the modern bride.

I've been scouring the internet and magazines for my dress and of course that of my wonderful bridesmaid and I can't find anything that we'd be comfortable in. Everything is puffy, frou frou or lacy! The standard wedding dress of strapless top and poufy skirt is a definite no go for me - I'd trip over the skirt and probably pop out of the top halfway down the aisle. I am so not one of those girls who grow up dreaming of her wedding day. The white suit ala Bianca Jagger is beginning to look more and more appealing to me. I'm warning you dear bridesmaid, you may end up in something frilly despite my best efforts to rescue you from such a fate. Please don't hate me forever.

Hair and makeup have been taken care of by a simple visit to the one and only Shahdon. all 3 of us go way way back so it was only appropriate that I ask him to beautify me on my big day.

A wedding means photographs! Lots of photographs! Pre-wedding shots are usually taken to show off to one and all during the wedding. This is one thing we may not do. The shots, yes but a resounding no to the showing them to one and all during the wedding...we're just not like that somehow. I'm hoping to get a good friend to do the photographs. I like his portraits and I like his style. Photographs are also very personal and I hope that by getting a dear friend to take our pre-wedding shots, his knowledge and familiarity of us as a couple will show through in photographs that capture what we really are instead of stilted photographs of 2 people who slightly resemble us physically. The personal touch is important.

My to do list for the next week:

1. Sort out dresses for myself and wedding party.
2. Finalise guest list from parental units and grandparents.
3. Approach printers for quotations for printing the invitations.
4. Sort out entertainment and venues.
5. Decide on how many separate events to hold.
6. Finalise budget.
7. Investigate flowers and wedding favours.
   

Fastforward to Bride - The Beginning

1 May 2007. That's the day life as I know it changed. I am no longer allowed to count myself amongst the singletons of the world, albeit with a significant other but as yet unmarried. The rock on my ring finger of my left hand now serves to remind me that I am about to pledge myself body and soul, to another.

So how did this happy situation come about? In a nutshell, boy meets girl, boy saves his number in girls mobile phone under assumed name, girl discovers number weeks later and hazards a call, boy takes girl out for a beer, boy and girl somehow start spending a lot of time together, 6 months later boy and girl resign themselves to being an item. Now fastforward to 1 May 2007. Boy and girl are on holiday, girl refuses to get out of bed, boy pops the question, girl feigns initial ignorance but eventually says yes. Yes the ring is a real diamond. Yes he bought it himself.

The proposal wasn't meant to be what it eventually turned out to be. Although B's really tight lipped about it, from the fragments of information that I've gathered it seems that he's been plotting for a while and practically everyone was in on it. The original plan was to pop the questin while riding the glass bottomed cable car from Mount Faber to Sentosa but in his own words "it didn't seem like we were going to make it so I thought I'd propose in your favourite place - the bed!". I'm just thankful he didn't do it in the middle of Orchard Road! That would have been a disaster...can you imagine me going "ok we'll talk about this later, let me finish shopping first" *roll eyes* True shopaholic am I.

To the fellas out there, if your girl isn't the type to declare her love at the top of her lungs from the top of Wheelock Place then for both your sakes, pop the question privately. Doing it in a public place with hundreds of eyes staring and waiting for an answer can be nerve wracking to say the least. Also, to me, a private moment between the both of you when you ask that oh so special question is infinitely more beautiful than the most publicly lived out moment imaginable. Plus...if she says no in public what on earth would you do?!?!

The parents have been told. Today we tackled the remaining grandparents. My lovely grandmother took her sweet time getting settled, seated B directly opposit her in her living room and conducted a mini-interrogation - when's the wedding? where will you live? you better look after her? and so on and so forth. B emerged unscathed, after all when your grandmothers were good friends and fathers went to University together, you're not going to have much of a problem getting accepted by each other's families.

Since we got engaged, it's been a whirlwind of attention. I'm not usually one to shun attention but I'm getting to the stage where if I could, I would blush, stammer thanks you's and run away. A big thank you to all those who've wished us well - now watch me lose my mind trying to organise a wedding...MY wedding *faint*

I must say that getting engaged and putting together a wedding has opened a whole new world of internet resources to me. Gone are the days I surf looking to perv at the latest handbag or another pair of Choos. Now it's to sites like the knot or Female Brides for information and ideas. Can someone tell me if there's a difference between a dress and a wedding dress? To me the only discernible difference is the price they stick on the one meant for brides. Does becoming a bride give retailers carte blanche to rob you blind?? For God's sake, an invitation card is an invitation card regardless of whether it's for a birthday party, coming out of the closet or a wedding!

Engagement annoucements out of the way we're looking at maybe biting the bullet at the end of August. A long engagement would just be a pain for the both of us. We figure it's best to just jump right in.
How do I feel you may ask?? I feel fine. Much as B popping the question was a surprise, I think deep down I had a feeling it was going to happen this year. Even his 4 year old neice has been telling everyone that we're getting married this year - psychic maybe? I'm happy, he's happy, the families seem happy, my brother's are eagerly awaiting ang pow's next Chinese New Year. The enormity of it all has settled in - this will actually be something that's forever and ever and ever, not until next season's collection comes out. To put to rest any doubters and dissenters out there, I have 2 words for you - I do.

Majlis Tanda Tunang of Tina & Yadi

The engagement or Majlis Menerima Tanda Tunang of Tina & Yadi

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s ! !

The couple
Hajah Martina Melati binte Dato Seri Paduka Hj Kifrawi

&

Ismayadi Sugara bin Asrul Hayat

Tina is the only daughter and eldest child of Dato Seri Paduka Hj Kifrawi and Datin Hajah Zainah. She is a medical student at the University of Queensland in Brisbane. The couple met in Brisbane and went 'steady' in October 2004. Yadi graduated from the University of Queensland with a Bachelor of Commerce degree in December 2004. He is working as an Auditor with the Brunei Government.

The ring
The ring was from Twinkles Jewellery

The event and venue
The beautiful bride-to-be was made up and dressed in the Darussalam Suite of the Sheraton Utama Hotel situated on the 6th floor of the hotel.

On arrival, guests were ushered into the Mutiara Ballroom located at lobby level. The ballroom was decorated in the colour theme of blue and white. It was wonderfully cool and tranquil in the ballroom and an air of excitement was in the air while the guests waited for the ceremony to start.

The guests in the Mutiara Ballroom could see Tina in the Darussalam Suite, as she waited for the ring to be brought to her.

The invitation
A very simple gold leaf, bought by the bride-to-be from a stationers in Brisbane. Her Aunt, Ngah Alin or Haslinda, prepared the words and layout. Elegant yet effective.

The make-up and hair
Tina’s hair and make-up were done by Maureen from De Most Salon in Kiulap. Soft baby blue sparkly eye shadow, light pink lips, radiant complexion and dramatic lashes.

Tools of the trade:

Maureen, make up artiste

The Dress
And now to her breathtaking baju kurung which was made out of an exquisite piece of luminous ice blue French Lace adorned with thousands of Swarovski crystals. It was lovingly cut and sewn by Madam Glinda, who works in Tina’s grandma’s tailoring shop, Tina Tailor. Hundreds of silver and blue beads were hand-sewn over 2 weeks onto the neckline, cuffs and edges of the baju kurung.

Tina Tailor was set-up Datin Hajah Jamilah, Tina’s maternal nenek (on right). Here she is with her daughter, Datin Hajah Zainah.

Located at No. 120 Kampong Lambak, Simpang 284, Jalan Berakas, BB1714, BSB, Tel: 2390438, Tina Tailor is well known for their delicate and intricate beadwork, superb workmanship and innovative designs of baju kurungs/kebayas and baju feysen.

Here is Glinda, master cutter, (2nd from left) and her team of sewers and embroiderers.

The Jewellery
A pair of ear-rings from Swarovski and a long necklace of topaz and assorted stones.

The shoes
A lovely pair of blue sandals embellished with crystals from Vincci to match the baju kurung.

The photographer
When only the best will do, you call David Cheok. Pop over to his site to see more photos. Please register to view photos which are in his Private Gallery.

The videographer
Irwan, a familiar face at weddings.

The food
Chef Ken Yeong, Executive Chef of the Sheraton Utama Hotel, put this menu together for the occasion. We had Tasek Fried Rice, Darussalam Noodles, Tofu Ebiko Pouch, Honey Sesame Chicken Wings, Crispy Fish Fingers with Sambal Dip, Assorted Canapes, Sliced Cakes and Fresh Fruits.

Go to Foodie Tales for pics.

The giveaways
Mum (Datin Hajah Zainah) of the bride-to-be, bought these Chinese silk tissue box holders from Shanghai. The lucky ladies received this, with Golden Boronia nougat from Australia in a re-useable dark blue chiffon drawstring pouch, and a piece of chocolate cake baked by the Pastry Chef of the Sheraton Utama Hotel. The gentlemen guests received a mug instead of the tissue box holder.

Isn’t it a wonderful idea to hold an engagement party in the air-conditioned comfort of a hotel? Imagine having their banquet department make most of the arrangements for you, leaving you to look your best on the big day?

No surprise the bride-to-be and her family all looked wonderfully calm and collected, mingling with their guests and enjoying the afternoon’s events. Call Sheraton Utama Hotel on 2244272 for enquiries.

Here is Rano in the Darussalam Suite. Check out his site for his write-up of today's events.