Memoirs OF A Bride (Part 3) - Berbedak

After a month of living with my husband, today I'm alone when woken up (yet again) by my mum at 9am. This time she reminds me that my grand aunts are coming to lulut me. Its back to having functions after such a long break. I've had not only a preview, but I experienced married life for a month. It took a lot of getting used to, its not as easy as it seems but its well worth it. I get out of bed, changed into 'whats necessary' and they did the works. Had the lulut, a shower and then the tangas. Used my 'white outfit' and walked around the house finding stuff to do till lunch. I had a house call manicure and pedicure after lunch but after, I got restless.

Putting on the tanduk and the thing for the back of the head.

Stand hired from citra idaman (kiulap), bohemia crystal bowls personal collection of my grandmum.

I went down to see everyone busy. The grannies were mixing paint into the bedak to give it colours, caterers fixing tables and everyone was running around. Then I saw the box of door gifts and no one stuck on my thank you cards on it. I started carrying the boxes, unpacking it and sticking the cards on. At first it was just me and my Mamit. Then my grand aunt came and told me to not do work coz then I'll look tired at night. I argued out that if I don't help, the job wont be done and continued doing my work. More people came and I was told off again so I gave in and 'stormed' into my room.

Bersikut in the bilik gata with my two grand mum waiting on the bed.

My grand aunts who gavev me my tenunan for my baju berbedak (L-R Nini Usu, Nini Eying, Nini Acai). Nini Acai designed the pattern. Kain Kapit was given as hantaran from Nasir.

Moore came to do my hair at 6pm, 5mins after Bu Amas came for make up. Make up was done first and then the head gear. First the tanduk thing, then the thing for the back of the head, then the naga, then the sisir, then the white kertas flowers then the bunga goyang then the white real flowers. As bad as everyone makes it sound, it wasn't all that painful. Having pins stuck into your hair didn't give me excruciating pain. I guess it really matters that u had the 'experts' to do it. It wasn't that heavy either. I mean, it was heavy but it was bearable.

Enzo Angiolini shoes lent by Busera.

Me

8:30pm and I'm still not dressed! I started getting worried. Finally they finished with my head, had make up touch ups and then I got dressed (the quickest part)! Now I was ready to make my appearance. They made me sit to put on my tutup kepala coz if I was standing no one could reach the top of my head and got escorted by my two Bu Irings down to the pelamin. Then it started, first my grand dad, then Daddy, then Bapa then the uncles and some VIP Pehins… I knew I was stiff. I sat straight and tried to feel for the back of my chair but I kept leaning back and it felt like it was so far away.

Finally I felt it and I was able to rest my back. Phew! I had a slight running nose and I was sniffing away on the pelamin. I tried to signal to my sister that I wanted tissue but they didn't get it and my aunts told me to keep my mouth closed. They pointed at their eye and shook their head. So I looked down at a point on the carpet. At the corner of my eye I could see my aunt fall! It was so hard to control myself into bursting into laughter! After some time, the pengangun told me to not look down and look up at the people who were going to bedak me. So I looked up but the men were moving and my eyes automatically followed them so I decided to stick to a 'point' and I picked the mens studs. It was so difficult to stop my eyes from wandering with moving objects! After the men were done, the women started. At some time I felt my back started to ache. There were just so many women!!!

Door gifts. biscuits from Bakerlyn cake shop (Kiulap).

Berbedak gift for the women (comes in 5 colours) shipped from China (organised by my cousin). Personalised ribbons from UK (fourseasonsvillage.co.uk). Flower accessories from Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua).

Finally it ends, and I'm escorted up, found my friends and took pictures. My friends were telling me how I looked nervous at the start coz my eyes were wandering around. Now I know what my family meant about not having 'mata liar'. I'm glad I found a way to control it!

Berbedak gift for the men from Mangkuk Emas trading (Batu Bersurat- same row as Red Canopy Cafe). Personalised ribbons from UK (fourseasonsvillage.co.uk ). Flower accessories from Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua).

Next I had to change into my 'lulut outfit' for my mandi bedak. After that, I got in my white clothes (nicer one this time), had my accessories put on and did the sikut thing at my bilik gata. It was quite difficult coz I kept stepping on my pengangun's skirt. I did small 'japanese' steps coz I cldnt hve normal steps. Had 3 'rounds' and then stopped and bagi salam to my grand mums that were sitting on the bed. Finally I'm done for the day and its nearly midnight. Everyone bids their goodbye's but I'm stuck yet again taking off my accessories, removing make up and everything else. It was tiring yet so much fun. I cant wait for my next function on Saturday.

A text from my husband.

The accessories are all personally owned by the grannies. My grand mum lent a few and so did my grand aunties. My family back in Kg Ayer days were goldsmiths which is why its in the family to own bits and pieces of these things. My butterfly pin is owned by my grand mother. Her mum gave it to her as her wedding present when she got married 60+ years ago.

Unedited entry by the bride herself, Muizzah.
Photography by eyan.