Saturday, May 26, 2012

Wedding Etiquette: How much should u give?

How much is in your ENVELOPE? Do you know how much you're supposed to put in?

After the guests duly settle down and sit, the family of the bride and groom will come around to greet and shake the hand of every single guest in the congregation. This is called bejarah. During this session, not so subtly, envelopes are slipped in.

The Berjarah Session
From here: http://stoney-mylifemyworld.blogspot.com/2009/01/hari-persandingan-nina-hazren-on.html
It is an unspoken rule for every single person who is already working and earning money that you need to prepare an envelope containing a certain amount of money when attending a wedding. It's like a "sedekah" and so there's really no set amount you need to put in. Furthermore, no one ever talks about how much they put into envelopes cause well, that will pretty much seem like you're showing off of how charitable you are. Haha.

However, I've come to find out that most brides and grooms actually use this money to pay off the caterer, which is usually the most expensive part of a wedding. So I've come to use this as a basis of how much I contribute to the newlyweds.

1. Venue of the wedding. Is it a hotel? Is it at home? Is it in a hall? For hotel weddings, menus start at $20 up to $70 per person. Hall weddings generally use outside caterers which are generally quite cheap, but they spend more on rental. So it can range from $15 to $50 per person. Home weddings are cheaper, starting from $5 to $20 per person.

2. Menu: Is it a simple nasi lemak breakfast? Could it be a 5 dish lunch? Is it a full 8 course Chinese style dinner? Take this into account when deciding how much u put in.

3. How much did they or their parents gave on your wedding? When a very close friend got married I was tasked to note down in a book how much each person gave. I asked her father what it was for and apparently its so that they can give back the same amount during weddings of their daughters and sons. It's a good idea to note down how much everyone gave so that u also know how much to give. :)

4. How close are u to the newlyweds? Generally when you are close to the newlyweds, you give more (although I generally don't go to weddings of people I'm not close to!). This one I suppose is a matter of how deep are your pockets :)

That said, most people would agree that BND$10 is the bare minimum. :) (Unless of course, it's a Chinese wedding then the bare minimum is BND$50 hehe but that's another article altogether!)

There are some rules of etiquette regarding the said envelope:

1. Write your name on the envelope. I know this may sound showy but it is considered poor etiquette if u don't. After all, only u and the newlyweds will know of the amount u gave.
2. Always give it to the head of the bejarah congregation
3. Before giving, fold envelope into palm size
4. You do not simply give it, you subtly slide it into the other person's hand when they touch yours

Hope this is helpful! :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Majlis Betunang: Yay or Nay?

Weddings have come a long way compared to what it was 10-20 years ago. It is now a booming business assaulting u left and right what with photographers, dresses, pelamin, room decorations, flowers, families, ceremonies.

One of the biggest contentions for the modern bride and groom is the number of ceremonies to conduct. Most now prefer to abandon the whole 2 weeks, 10 functions and instead decide to concentrate on 2 key ceremonies: nikah and bersanding, which I find more manageable but of course, as most wedded couples have time and again have contested, it's rarely their decision, but rather decision of their parents.


My friend said, "APA YANG KU PLAN SEMUANYA NDA MENJADI! KANA OVERWRITE LEH MAMA!"

Hehe.

Here's an example, before wedding proceedings can begin, a couple usually needs to decide: should they have a majlis betunang? Many will opt for a yes. In fact more traditional families will scream in agony, should the function be foregone.

Nowadays, this part of the ceremony is more lavish, and we are noticing more and more wedding boutiques offering "Pelamin Tunang".

Pelamin Tunang From D'Crystal Crown Bridal Gallery

But nowadays, am noticing a new crop of spendthrift brides and grooms that forgo this Majlis Betunang (pelamin, catering, invitations, dress, makeup, photographers, hantaran, ring) altogether so that they can spend more money and leave days on their sanding (or honeymoon!), arguably the most expensive function in wedding proceedings.

Some others combine the Majlis Betunang and the Nikah, so they still save up and spend only on one function, but the bride gets an extra ring!

So, which one are u? Tunang or no tunang?

I wouldn't mind the extra ring. :)


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Under Refurbishment



We're back! We know it's been a while so we do apologize for the long absence. Anyway, we now aim to bring new life to this blog. So please bare with us while we do some refurbishment. If you happen to be listed in the Directory here but your information is out of date, please do leave a comment below with your correct details. We're gonna introduce some new features which will hopefully be useful for the future bride & groom and also help promote those who are in the wedding business.

If you have services that you need to be listed, by all means email us the info/pics and we'll be glad to post it up for FREE. Yes, for FREE. We are also open for short or long term advertisement, so do drop us an email if you want to be prominently featured here.

Ok, that is all for now. Please feel free to drop a comment or two. Also, do follow us on Twitter here for the latest updates. Till then, cya!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Ben and Nina - Engagement and Solemnisation

Congratulations are in order for Ben and Nina who held their Engagement and Nikah - solemnization ceremony on 2nd October 2009. Here are some shots from the auspicious ceremony! Looking forward to the bersanding!!!!

armin

antaran
Engagement ceremony in session. Wow! So much food! The Bride must be a good cook! LOL!

nina shy
shy...
Nina
Love the decor of the bride's room.. very alami!
Ben Nkah
Mr. Liverpool ready for the Nikah
nina on dias
On the dias...observing the Nikah ceremony
cium tqngan
Kissing the hubby's hand.

nina n twins
Hooray!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Dr Tina & Yadi's Wedding Ceremonies Part 2

More pictures taken by the David Cheok for Dr Tina & Yadi's wedding ceremonies. Rozi Yunos explains the nature of the ceremonies very well in her accounts of her own recent wedding here.

I'm uploading the more 'formal' pictures here, but soon will put up some informal ones which David so clearly captures the joy, fun, laughter and love of the day.

Thursday, 6th August 2009 - The Nikah



Friday, 7th August 2009 - The Berbedak



Sunday, 9th August 2009 - The Bersanding



Sunday, 9th August 2009 - The Ambil-Ambilan


Congratulations to the happy couple!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Dr Tina & Yadi's Bersanding Ceremony



This afternoon saw the Bersanding Ceremony of


Dr Hajah Martina Melati binti Dato Seri Paduka Awang Haji Kifrawi

&

Awang Ismayadi Sugara bin Awang Asrul Hayati

at the Dewan Utama (Royal Berkshire Hall) of the Royal Brunei Polo & Riding Club.


I wanted to share some pictures of the radiant bride, resplendent in a heavily beaded handmade turquoise and gold wedding gown, diamonds and a delicate tiara.

Dr Tina's magnificent designer gown comprises a hand embroidered lace dress with thousands of beads and sequins over a bustier and a long gold skirt made from a shimmering piece of jong sarat. The unique stand up collar enhanced her beautiful features and baby soft glowy skin.

The arrival of the bride into the hall,


followed shortly by the groom.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sharifah Filya and Pg Shaherol - wedding


bride 4  1025

Congratulations on the big day!

Makeup : Shahdon Icon
Bridal attire : designed by Khazanah
Venue: Berkshire Hall, Jerudong Polo and Country Club


with brides maids  1031

bride coming  1037

Here comes the bride.... and the groom!

shaherol  1043

On the dias!

sisters2  1054


lady blues  1042

Families - people managing the wedding. They deserved a round of applause!

dina n fina  1018