Memoirs of a Bride (Part 6) - Doa Selamat

The husband drifts off to sleep as I walk around packing and unpacking for the doa selamat at night. Time flew quickly and the next thing I know I'm running around and late (again)! We arrive at Polo Club at 6:30 and I get made up straight away. I finish getting ready and tiptoe to the balcony to check out the guests. Zakiyah caught me and made shoo-ing gestures so I go in and wait for my husband to 'pick' me up.

Doa Selamat dinner. An appreciation for the family who really helped out a lot. A big family is an advantage (more helping hands). Without my family helping, we'd be overwhelmed!

We go down together (me nearly tripping at the stairs) and we enter the hall holding hands. My outfit doesn't give me much stepping space so I'm forced to walk with tiny steps. I call out to my husband quite often requesting for him to slow down. We reach the table and pause. Do we go right or left? Oh what the heck! We walk to the right and around the table to our seat. A thank you speech was given by I think Pg Bahrum (my uncle) and he continued with a doa selamat and the food was served.

Caught in the act of checking out my guests!

The fish was good- some sort of steamed fish. Erwan played a video clip from the whole wedding with a Krisdayanti song in the background (which my family totally wiped out after a min). Oh well... Then I saw guests leaving. But am I not supposed to be out there saying my thank you's and goodbye's? I signal to Babu and she's in a daze when she lets me go out. We call mummy and daddy too so we all go out. But people are still eating. Uh-oh! I was early! My bad! Bapa marah's a bit and says its like us telling people to leave.

Lace material bought by Babu in Dubai, made at Lord'ess (Jakarta). Veil bought from Safrina. Tiara and Jewellery lent by Busera's mum.

But no one is leaving anyways. We wait till people are ready to leave and they come and say goodbyes. A few guests took pictures while we were still in line and finally it was done. More pictures were taken with guests that lounged around the hall. My feet were aching from those killer stilettos! Finally we head back home at 11:30pm knackered and straight away hit the sacks. It's been a long and exhausting day.

At the table. Checking out the video.

Our entertainment was strictly no music due to some religious members of my family. My grand dad wanted guling tangan though so we had that only.

Leaving the hall at the wrong time! Whoops!

With the maids. Material for uniform bought at YMRM and made at Idot's tailor.

An advice to future brides, a lot of time preparation time required! I had 2 months to prepare for nikah, 3 months for the other functions calling it a bit rushed is an understatement. Though, it's ok that my wedding wasn't perfect and missed a few touches here and there. It's our journey in marriage that will count. What is the memory of one day to compare to a memory of a lifetime?

Ordered from Singapore via Mangkuk Emas Trading (Batu Bersurat – same row as Red Canopy Café), Flower bought in Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua), Ribbon bought from UK (www.fourseasonsvillage.co.uk)

A few of the many gifts from guests and I would like to take this opportunity to tell everyone it was wonderful of you to share our wedding day with us. Thank you for your good thoughts, your generous gift and for being there. It means the world to us that you care.

Jewellery from my in-laws for the 'menyarungkan'. Not something that we're accustomed to, (not part of our adat) so that was something new.

Next destination, honeymoon? My husband cant get leave due to his involvement with preparations for the Royal birthday. We had a two night stay at Empire sponsored by my Bungsu and the real honeymoon sponsored by my Bapa planned to be in August. Where to? My husband wants a cruise, I want somewhere cold. How about an Alaskan Cruise? I'd like to go to Europe though...

Us.

Unedited entry by the bride herself, Muizzah.
Photography by eyan.

And that is the finale for this series of the wonderfully detailed account of the wedding events that Muizzah has kindly shared with us. Thank you so much for your contribution Muizzah, I'm sure the visitors have been enjoying your memoir and hopefully it will help those who are planning their wedding sometime soon too. We here at Brunei Weddings wish you a happy marriage and a lifetime of happiness - Bulimic.

Memoirs of a Bride (Part 5) - Bersanding

I'm so sleepy! I groggily wake up at 8.30am and get into the shower to wash off all the hair spray Moore used on me the night before. Nini Tahir is expected to come to the house to mandikan me at 9am. Moore is already here to fix my flower girls' hair but the flower girls haven't turned up. I'm all set and waiting in the shower. Nini Tahir comes and pours his COLD 'quraan water' on me and goes. Nini pengangun continues with the rest, I have another session of bertangas then I go to my room and get ready.

Guling tangan, entertainment for the morning. They were hip too! I was tapping my feet on the pelamin!My pelamin. A family belonging bought by my grandmum. First used by my mum on her wedding 26 years ago. Fixed by the carpenter from Citra Idaman (Kiulap). Curtains and wallpaper from Haska. Golden pillars lent by Aunty Hjh Noraini. Real flowers on stands from Willyn florist (Kiulap). Jawi centrepiece (reads Allah selamatkan pengantin baru) drawn by my grand dads worker in Pusat Sejarah

Moore finishes with the girls and blow dries my hair as Bu Amas comes. I have the makanan suap-suap (nasi kuning, the boiled egg with the shell coloured red, and some other dishes which apparently were served just because it was tradition) then I scuttle off to have my make up and hair done. It was nearly 11 and I'm later than planned. The kids are all restless (and hungry) so they watch Cinderella 3 and have my junk snacks.

Flower girls. Tiara's and earrings from Singapore. Lace used on gowns from Royal Fabrics (Singapore), glitter chiffon for skirts from 1 ^st Metro. Dresses made at Nie Boutique (Kiulap). Flowers by Willyn florist (Kiulap)My veil lent by my KK cousin (Ka Zura). Tenunan Brunei sponsored by Babu, made from ZA handicraft (Tungku). My outfit made at Luire by Raden Sirait ( Jakarta). Tiara and Jewellery lent by Busera's mum. My hand bouquet from Willyn florist (Kiulap)

Just after noon I'm let off to change, run back up and Moore puts on my tiara, finishes off with my hair and puts on my veil. Bu Amas does final touches on my make up. I persistently complain that my tiara isn't levelled so Moore keeps sticking on pins into my hair. Zalina a.k.a. ZZ, my beautiful maid of honour (qualified veil carrier) appears at 12:30 apologizing repeatedly for being late and starts practicing carrying my veil despite my still sitting down being made up. Ainul, Sera, Sab and Bibi puts on my shoes for me and I'm done! Picture time!

Z practicing holding the veil

Jimmy Choo's lent by Busera

Prince Charming has arrived

Bapa comes up asking if my husband has left (in which I don't know) and he goes ballistic on me saying that the 'mens side' was expected to leave home at 1pm. But its 1.20pm, so I call my husband and he tells me he just got in the car. Oh no! I still continue having pictures with my friends before my two Bu Irings appear to bring me down. My 6 flower girls shuffle in line. I turn to make sure Z is doing ok with the veil and I walk.

When the lights went off! With Princess Nasibah My cousins (mum's side)

As we reach the ground floor, I see tons of mobile phones in the air. I flash smiles to as many as I can before I go in the pelamin room. My aunt stands in front of me (to cover me from the crowd) as I sit and give instructions for Z on how to fix my veil. They're done, they leave and I look up. So many people! So many cameras! So much fun! I'm relaxed, no jitters nor nerves. I look all around the room at everyone I could see. Then I see my aunts! More reminders of my wandering eyes. I give a guilty smile as I look straight to the wall and wait for the arrival of my 'prince'.

Muneerah catching my bouquet!

Ordered from Singapore via Mangkuk Emas Trading (Batu Bersurat – same row as Red Canopy Café), Flower bought in Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua), Ribbon bought from UK (www.fourseasonsvillage.co.uk)

Chatter of him arriving gets into the pelamin room. Soon after, he enters looking very angry and serious. I smile thinking to myself of how 'controlled' he's trying to be. He rests his hand on my forehead (for the menapak), he sits and the salawat is read. Princess Nasibah comes out and sits then babu comes up to us to tell me to salam her. Babu invites Princess to take a picture and she walks towards the pelamin. Just as she stands next to me, the lights go off! Despite that, the photographers are still taking pictures. I worry on how long we'd be electric-less but not long after, the lights go back on and a choir of "naaaahhhh" starts.

Us.

More pictures were taken. Then we're told to go out to the door and wave to people outside. As I look out I think "sunshine!" I don't know why it felt so relieving to see the sun. I must've been cooped in the house for such a long time (since berbedak) for me to appreciate seeing outdoors. Shuffle left, shuffle right, look straight and go in. The crowd starts to thin but we're still taking pictures till around 4pm.

Unedited entry by the bride herself, Muizzah.
Photography by eyan.

Memoirs of a Bride (Part 4) - Berpacar

No one woke me up today so I end up waking up at 11am. Such a great rest! I wait for my maids to send my white outfit to my room while surfing the net and my cousin Illah yells at me telling me to have a shower and I quote "you're lucky you don't have a pengangun, or else you'd be mandi at 8". The family was over last night to berjaga-jaga and only went home at 1:30am (thus my reason for waking up late).

My shoes, an old pair of Vincci's I found lying around

I don't do much today, just waiting for the evening to come. As usual, Moore and Bu Amas arrive to do hair and make up around 6. It's a smaller function today, only close relatives are invited. I'm getting used to all this being made up and 'presenting' myself to a crowd and I feel more relaxed as I'm get ready. I'm nearly done when I change into my outfit. Moore finishes off with my hair as I pick out a kain kapit and shoes. I'm ready and all excited to go down. Its Bungsu's turn to bring me down this time.

Look up, look straight :)

On my way down I still hear the usual don't show 'teeth smile' and I think to myself what is the big deal, its only close family anyways. I'm still talking and laughing on my way down (making the elders more riuh) and just before I go in the pelamin room I flash a big teeth smile to my aunt and go in with a more serious face.

Nana and Azrieff. My guests coming all the way from Malaysia

Today I'm just uncontrollable. My eyes are all over the place, my smile is super wide, I am myself! Everyone takes turn to put on the pacar on my palms (just like during berbedak). Its all over my palm! I think to myself that after they're done its not gone be neat! It was over really quick. I went up to my bilik gata to have the pacar properly put on my hands and feet (doing it traditional style). There was a short debate whether I changed into my white outfit or if I just used what I had on. Babu said I had to look 'nice' so that ended the debate and I used my berpacar outfit.

Bibi, Sera, Ainul and Sab being silly. These girls came to all my functions without fail. Thank you!

First my right hand was done. I told Nini Pengangun to not make it too long on my fingers and not to have the circle too big on the palm. She's very flexible so that was nice. My bottom started aching. It didn't help that I was sitting on wood (gata bed had no mattress). I became restless to somehow ease the pain. Finally I was left to wait (alone). People came in and out of the room talking about what was 'happening' downstairs. Apparently my cousin 'opened' a casino! I really wanted to come down as it was getting boring in the room. I think if anyone wants to berpacar, do it where the crowd is so you wont be lonely! Just after midnight I was allowed to remove my pacar. I went down to see what was left of my guests but there was none. Tomorrow is my bersanding and I should be having my beauty nap. I put on my eye mask and head off to sleep. I'm excited!

As comfortable as it gets!

Jewellery lent from Busera's mum, bunga goyang lent from my grand mum, pink lace material of my outfit bought by my mum in Dubai (sewn at tailor- Mrs Kong), make up done by my aunt Bu Amas, hair done by Moore (Evina salon)

Unedited entry by the bride herself, Muizzah.
Photography by eyan.

Memoirs OF A Bride (Part 3) - Berbedak

After a month of living with my husband, today I'm alone when woken up (yet again) by my mum at 9am. This time she reminds me that my grand aunts are coming to lulut me. Its back to having functions after such a long break. I've had not only a preview, but I experienced married life for a month. It took a lot of getting used to, its not as easy as it seems but its well worth it. I get out of bed, changed into 'whats necessary' and they did the works. Had the lulut, a shower and then the tangas. Used my 'white outfit' and walked around the house finding stuff to do till lunch. I had a house call manicure and pedicure after lunch but after, I got restless.

Putting on the tanduk and the thing for the back of the head.

Stand hired from citra idaman (kiulap), bohemia crystal bowls personal collection of my grandmum.

I went down to see everyone busy. The grannies were mixing paint into the bedak to give it colours, caterers fixing tables and everyone was running around. Then I saw the box of door gifts and no one stuck on my thank you cards on it. I started carrying the boxes, unpacking it and sticking the cards on. At first it was just me and my Mamit. Then my grand aunt came and told me to not do work coz then I'll look tired at night. I argued out that if I don't help, the job wont be done and continued doing my work. More people came and I was told off again so I gave in and 'stormed' into my room.

Bersikut in the bilik gata with my two grand mum waiting on the bed.

My grand aunts who gavev me my tenunan for my baju berbedak (L-R Nini Usu, Nini Eying, Nini Acai). Nini Acai designed the pattern. Kain Kapit was given as hantaran from Nasir.

Moore came to do my hair at 6pm, 5mins after Bu Amas came for make up. Make up was done first and then the head gear. First the tanduk thing, then the thing for the back of the head, then the naga, then the sisir, then the white kertas flowers then the bunga goyang then the white real flowers. As bad as everyone makes it sound, it wasn't all that painful. Having pins stuck into your hair didn't give me excruciating pain. I guess it really matters that u had the 'experts' to do it. It wasn't that heavy either. I mean, it was heavy but it was bearable.

Enzo Angiolini shoes lent by Busera.

Me

8:30pm and I'm still not dressed! I started getting worried. Finally they finished with my head, had make up touch ups and then I got dressed (the quickest part)! Now I was ready to make my appearance. They made me sit to put on my tutup kepala coz if I was standing no one could reach the top of my head and got escorted by my two Bu Irings down to the pelamin. Then it started, first my grand dad, then Daddy, then Bapa then the uncles and some VIP Pehins… I knew I was stiff. I sat straight and tried to feel for the back of my chair but I kept leaning back and it felt like it was so far away.

Finally I felt it and I was able to rest my back. Phew! I had a slight running nose and I was sniffing away on the pelamin. I tried to signal to my sister that I wanted tissue but they didn't get it and my aunts told me to keep my mouth closed. They pointed at their eye and shook their head. So I looked down at a point on the carpet. At the corner of my eye I could see my aunt fall! It was so hard to control myself into bursting into laughter! After some time, the pengangun told me to not look down and look up at the people who were going to bedak me. So I looked up but the men were moving and my eyes automatically followed them so I decided to stick to a 'point' and I picked the mens studs. It was so difficult to stop my eyes from wandering with moving objects! After the men were done, the women started. At some time I felt my back started to ache. There were just so many women!!!

Door gifts. biscuits from Bakerlyn cake shop (Kiulap).

Berbedak gift for the women (comes in 5 colours) shipped from China (organised by my cousin). Personalised ribbons from UK (fourseasonsvillage.co.uk). Flower accessories from Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua).

Finally it ends, and I'm escorted up, found my friends and took pictures. My friends were telling me how I looked nervous at the start coz my eyes were wandering around. Now I know what my family meant about not having 'mata liar'. I'm glad I found a way to control it!

Berbedak gift for the men from Mangkuk Emas trading (Batu Bersurat- same row as Red Canopy Cafe). Personalised ribbons from UK (fourseasonsvillage.co.uk ). Flower accessories from Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua).

Next I had to change into my 'lulut outfit' for my mandi bedak. After that, I got in my white clothes (nicer one this time), had my accessories put on and did the sikut thing at my bilik gata. It was quite difficult coz I kept stepping on my pengangun's skirt. I did small 'japanese' steps coz I cldnt hve normal steps. Had 3 'rounds' and then stopped and bagi salam to my grand mums that were sitting on the bed. Finally I'm done for the day and its nearly midnight. Everyone bids their goodbye's but I'm stuck yet again taking off my accessories, removing make up and everything else. It was tiring yet so much fun. I cant wait for my next function on Saturday.

A text from my husband.

The accessories are all personally owned by the grannies. My grand mum lent a few and so did my grand aunties. My family back in Kg Ayer days were goldsmiths which is why its in the family to own bits and pieces of these things. My butterfly pin is owned by my grand mother. Her mum gave it to her as her wedding present when she got married 60+ years ago.

Unedited entry by the bride herself, Muizzah.
Photography by eyan.