3 months later

A final post...3 months later...the aftermath in a sense. It's taken us this long to settle down and reflect on everything.

The wedding day itself was a whirlwind. It was over before we knew it! I was up at the crack of dawn for hair and makeup before my beautiful bridesmaid and the flower girls arrived for their primping.

At the appointed hour we heard car horns blaring outside the house heralding the arrival of the groom and his boys. Thankfully we didn't have to go through the whole (literally) torturous process of making the boys prove themselves to gain entry to the house so the boys proceeded to breakfast before Bryan was sent upstairs to "coax" me down.

We gathered everyone round for some photos before the tea ceremony. The kids seemed to really enjoy smiling for the camera and are still asking when we're going to do it again.

The tea ceremony is basically the bride's family handing her to the groom and sending her off to her new life. After a quick and dirty tea ceremony the boys ran off to the church taking the ring bearer and flower girls with them. Most of the family left for church at this stage leaving the house strangely quiet for the first time that day. I followed suit with my bridesmaid and official driver for the day a bit later.

Arriving at church right on the dot of 10am we find stragglers dashing into the church after spotting our car. Shame on you being later than the Bride! My bridesmaid and I carefully negotiated our way across the red carpet laid down over the grass in our heels and dresses. On hindsight, trains may not have been the best idea for the both of us considering the terrain leading up to the church.

There was a little wait outside the hall before the bridal procession could proceed in as more seating had to be set up for the guests. The flower girls were having a field day with their little headpieces and baskets and flouncing around in what they call their princess dresses while the ring bearer was more interested in finding out how everything was attached to the ring cushion.

Walking down the aisle towards the altar I noticed how packed the church was and all I could see (hazily through the veil) was a sea of smiling faces. My brother deposited me at the altar with Bryan and the ceremony proceeded smoothly. We pledged to honour each other mind, body and soul, promised to be faithful for richer or poorer, exchanged rings, kissed and were united in holy matrimony. The moment they announce "the new Mr. & Mrs. BJK" all I could think about was lunch! I was absolutely starving!

During the recessional we were pelted with flower petals and by the time we got outside we were actually shielding ourselves from the onslaught as the friends got a little overzealous and were throwing those petals at high velocity! I was told the boys were aiming for my cleavage hmph! I managed to grab a handful that had actually collected in my cleavage and retaliate at one point. We then proceeded to take more photos with the guests before being allowed to leave the church.

Next stop was the groom's parents' home for lunch before launching into another round of serving tea in return for ang pows and bling after which it was back to our new marital home for a well deserved siesta.

Siesta time was interrupted by the alarm clock sounding to tell us it was time to rise and shine. It was time for my second hair and makeup session of the day to make me fabulous for the dinner.


Dinner passed in a flash and before we knew it it was the end of the night, the oldies were leaving and the party was starting.

All the months of planning, preparation and stress was over in the blink of an eye. Enjoy every moment because it all passes in a flash and you wake up the next morning married and hungover.


As a belated postscript to the wedding, Mr. & Mrs. BJK would like to thank the everyone who helped out:

Our parents, family and friends who all pitched in to help out.
The emcee's at the church ceremony and wedding dinner - Dex & Lady G.
My brother's - for walking me down the aisle and doing the reading during the ceremony.
Those who manned the reception tables and ushered guests at church and the dinner.
The cake wrapping team who so efficiently helped to package the cake for all 700 dinner guests in one evening.
The designers, tailors, beaders and seamstresses at Josche Nelan and Weng Foo Tailor for the wonderful job on the dresses and suits.
The handsome best man (below) who proved he was really the best man for the job and spent so many hours running around with Mr. BJK.

My beautiful bridesmaid (below) who did a fantastic job waking up on time and keeping my train out of the way while I was moving around throughout the day.

The wonderful Shadon and his assistant Adik (below) who made us all look fabulous the whole day.

Princess at Shabby Chic for helping at the 11th hour with our giant layout for the dinner venue.
Our handsome photographer who tirelessly ran around the whole day and kept telling us to smile, smile and smile some more.

My personal net-Guru and cheerleader who helped out with the AV at the dinner without whom the guests would not have been entertained by photos from our pre-wedding shoot.And last but not least, to everyone who joined us on our special day and made it all the more festive.

Counting the days

Less than a week left. A few final observations.

1. If it isn't done by now then it won't be done at all. Time to take a leap of faith and let the chips fall where they may.
2. There will always be people who try and take over. Tell them on no unconditional terms to back off.
   
3. It's your wedding so make sure you get what you want. Be sure about what you want and communicate that vision to your dressmaker, makeup artist, photographer, florist and all else involved. There's nothing worse than an indecisive bride.
   
4. Make sure your guests actually get their invitations. You'd be surprised how many people don't receive their invitation because the middleman forgets or just doesn't bother.
   
5. We made the mistake of asking people to RSVP their regrets only. I now know that this was too trusting. I just assumed people have manners. After being forced to call several guests to confirm their attendance because of inconsistent RSVP's, we found that most people who couldn't attend hadn't bothered to let us know thinking we'd find out on the night. How rude!
   
6. Wedding dinners aren't cheap affairs. It is crucial to get the headcount as close to exact as possible when confirming numbers with the venue. Empty tables are a waste of money and space. Most venues here allow you to use up some of the empty tables subsequent to your event but there is a limit on the number you can actually use later.
7. For the brides, make sure you have a pair of backup shoes in case the pair you break a heel. Also, make sure you love your dress and are totally comfortable with your photographer and makeup artist. It all boils down to trust.

As we get closer to the day, I can't count the number of times I've been asked if I'm nervous or anxious. The answer is no. I'm just looking forward to getting it all over and done with so life can go back to normal albeit as Mr. and Mrs.

The countdown begins

This time next week I'll be pledging forever, through the good and the bad, for richer or poorer.

Time to make final mental adjustments to thinking as a unit instead of an individual. Time to get used to the fact that what's mine is his and what's his is mine - does this mean he has the right to wear my shoes as well!?!? Time to adjust to living with someone, getting up close and personal and in each other's space all the time. After a lifetime of doing what I want when I want this will be a change.

One week left and everything seems settled, although there are still boxes and boxes of my stuff in the house. That will just have to wait until after the wedding and honeymoon. Not enough hours in the day to get things done as it is, let alone time to sit down and sort through the junk I dumped into those boxes.

Time is short. Too many things to do. Looks like I'll subsist on a steady stream of caffeine for the next week until this is all over.

Time for many changes but isn't that what life is all about?

Wedding Wish List

Chinese weddings usually call for the gifting of gold jewelery by family and little red packets of joy by friends and wedding guests. However, in recent years, I find that couples tying the knot have sought assistance of their close friends to defray the cost of setting up home.

The comment by David on my last post inspired me to upload our Wish List. I'm calling it a wish list as opposed to a gift list simply because it's not a common practice here in Brunei. Wedding invitations will be sent out next week and guests who are wondering about gifts are most welcome to peruse the list. My fantasy wish list can be found here for those who are feeling exceptionally generous :p If nothing on the list appeals, I'm collecting Supa Save stamps so I can get the full Breville collection on offer.

I notice that our very own Inner Space offers a Gift Registry service which I have yet to avail myself of. I wish that most of the major department stores would catch on. It is a rather exhausting to trawl through these stores meticulously documenting brand, description, pricing and product codes to enable generous well-wishers to identify the product with accuracy.

Some may say that telling people exactly what to buy for you does away with the element of surprise. I say surprise is underrated especially when faced with 10 different toasters gifted by 10 different people. As a wedding guest, I've always appreciated it if the wedding couple indicate to us exactly what they need (or don't need) so I can gift them with something that will be appreciated and most importantly, used!

I recall a friend sometime ago telling me that one of the wedding guests had decided to help her decorate her home by buying them a sculpture...now we all know that art is subjective - I may not like what you like - the scuplture now sits in the happy couple's storeroom gathering dust and housing spiderwebs. It is a shame because the sculpture was obviously expensive and the gifter obviously spent a lot of time and effort selecting it.

I may come across as presumptuous and a bit of a b*tch r bridezilla but I believe in being practical. It's always best to give (and receive) something that will actually be used. Moral of the story is...in the absence of a wish or gift list, little red packets are always welcome.

Next post...the appearance of Bridezilla!

Walking down that aisle

The million dollar question: Who will walk me down that aisle to give me away? My beloved daddy has long since passed so that puts the kibosh on the traditional daddy daughter walk. I found this helpful article on eHow which has given me a few ideas. I wonder how everyone will take to me walking down the aisle solo? Not being regarded as a chattel to be traded. No connotations of ownership and being given away. Instead, you can read it as saying, I am my own person and do this of my own volition and free will.

There's 2 months to go to the Big Day. Things seem to be settling in nicely although no less stressfully. It's true when they say getting hitched is one of the more stressful situations in life. So many things to do, so little time! Thankfully, the mothers have taken things into their own hands so all we have to worry about are clothing ourselves, our guest lists and invitations....oh! and of course the hen and stag nights.

Marriage preparation classes have started and we seem to have stumbled onto the difference between the Anglican and Catholic churches - the Anglicans teach the bride and groom about sex, its phases and *ahem* resolution while the Catholics emphasize procreation and how to tell when you're at your most fertile. At our first session last week, the importance and sanctity of the institution of marriage was impressed upon us. They also taught us that the bible says that the bride and groom must leave their parents to start their own lives together - if that's not an endorsement of moving out I don't know what is! Tonight we will learn about "Communication"... I think I may need to get myself a bible. Anyone know where I can download a free copy?

There's been lots of talk about the order of Chinese weddings, in particular, about the games the groom and his brothers have to play when they come to pick up the bride. The bride and her sisters will put the boys through a set of tests to make the groom prove himself. Traditionally in Old China, it would be a way for the bride to test the groom's dedication and (fool)hardyness as they will most likely not Mr & Mrs Chia's was the last one I went to. All in all its a fun but exhausting exercise. I am thankful that my mother has declared "Us Hainanese don't do that sort of thing!" That means a little bit more sleep in the morning. After all who in their right mid would want to turn up at their own wedding with dark circles under their eyes!

I was chatting to a friend earlier today when it hit me just how much my life has changed in the past few years. My whole world view has shifted from one party after another to let's take care of me. I now believe that if you take care of yourself, the rest will come. My immediate concern used to focus on finding the next happening occasion, now it's turned to more domestic matters. Setting up house and home. I'm even getting the urge to go all Martha Stewart and start baking! God help us all!

The house has been secured and minor patching up is underway. I never knew just how much fun furniture shopping can be! A whole new world of retail opportunities has opened. To avoid totally breaking the bank we're taking the tried and tested approach of a wedding registry. Close friends who want to contribute something more personal than an ang pow have the option of helping us furnish our home. Of course one must take great care not to go overboard - it is not polite to ask your friends to buy you a complete B & O home entertainment centre! Not unless your friends include the likes of the Hilton sisters who might oblige without batting an eyelid.

Respondez s'il vous plait

So after a little wrangling with the parental units over the wording of the invitations, it looks like that's another thing off my list...now only a thousand and one things left to do before the big day which is only 2 MONTHS AWAY!! *faint*

A few rules of thumb when writing your invitations:

1. Proper traditional Chinese weddings will usually have 2 dinners - 1 hosted by the groom's family and the other by the bride's family. It is, therefore, very important to the oldies to state on the card who is hosting i.e. Mr & Mrs parents of the bride or Mr & Mrs parents of the groom.
2. People will be late. Stating in bold letters on the invitation "Dinner will be served promptly at 730pm" never hurts as guests have noone to blame but themselves if they miss the first course.
   
3. RSVP's are important. Set a date for your guests to RSVP by and if you've not heard from them by then you'll have to pick up the phone, flex that dialling finger and settle in for the long haul. As a guest, it's rude not to RSVP if asked to do so.
4. Make your invitations pretty. Noone likes an ugly card. Simplicity is best. Also, so many people forego quality printing for price. Sometimes cheap printing can be good but most times it's a case of you pay peanuts you get monkeys.
   
5. Make it clear to your guests how you expect them to dress. As a guest, turning up in jeans to a dinner with a formal dress code is inexcusable. I've half a mind to inspect each and every guest at my dinner and kick out those inappropriately dressed.

Tonight we start our marriage preparation counselling sessions as part of the church's efforts at preparing us for what's ahead. I'm assuming we'll be taught to love, cherish, honour and obey until death or divorce do us part. It's amazing the little things that you only find out about when you decide to get hitched.

Speaking of the church...while preparing the church booklet with the order of service, it's also just properly registered how long the wedding vows actually are. Must practice my serious voice so as not to giggle while reciting them. Don't think Reverend would be too pleased.

We're also on the hunt for a suitable roof to put over our heads. Time and time again I hear the same advice...don't live with parents. There can only be one mistress of the house and you want to be it. Me, I just want to joy of furnishing a house. Nesting is fun and gives me an excuse to shop shop shop and did I mention shopping?? :)

Got both our mummies together earlier this week and zipped through the guestlist and a few other things so I feel a little more settled now. Next thing on the list is to mobilize the soldiers and start assigning tasks to people for the day itself. The more the merrier I guess :)

White weddings

The term "white wedding" is commonly used to refer to a traditional Western wedding with all it's attendant customs and traditions. "White" is taken to refer to the color of the bride's dress which symbolises purity of heart, the innocence of childhood and virginity. In Victorian times, wearing a white dress indicated wealth and affluence but that's not so in modern times what with the rise of the rent-a-dress.

Some girls grow up dreaming of their wedding day, the one day in your life where everyone aims to please you because it's YOUR day. Some girls dream of white princess dresses with flowing trains and spend years planning their perfect wedding.

I'm not one of those girls. Have never been and never will be but I'm learning fast what it takes to plan a wedding. The most important things are checklists and delegation of responsibility. Gather your family and close friends around you and tell them exactly what you want and what you need them to do. Know what you want and don't be airy fairy about things. Give them specific instructions e.g. "I want a 3-tiered wedding cake with lavender trimmings" don't give them vague details and expect them to read your mind. If you don't know what you want then how the hell do you expect them to know? Next thing you have to do is set deadlines so everyone knows what is expected of them and by when. Lastly, don't constantly nag them about doing things. If you've been clear with your instructions then there should be no problem. Yes, I like the bootcamp style of organising. Tough love and all that.

There's 2 1/2 months left until D-Day. The venues, makeup artist and photographers have been booked, invitations have been designed and are ready to be printed at a moment's notice, the boys have been measured for their suits and my dress design is in good hands. We're finalising guest lists and mulling over menus is the next step. I'm still hunting for the perfect pair of shoes although my plan B are my bling bling Feldmans. The bridal party has been briefed and is ready to go. The parental units of the flower girls and ring bearer are hoping that the kids perform on the day :p

A few questions going through my mind:

1. Bling. Every bride needs bling. I'm still looking for THE statement piece that's just me.
2. Tiaras or feathers? or even a top hat with the veil!? What do you think?
3. Pocket squares or corsages for the boys?
4. Set date for pre-wedding shoot so our fantastically talented photographer can get us to cam-slut for him (not that we haven't before :p).
5. Hair - to grow or not to grow, that is the question. I guess I'm halfway there already so may as well go whole hog and ask for extensions!
6. Should we send out "You are not invited" cards so everyone knows where they stand :p
7. How do we fill a 7 bedroom house with just 2 of us??
8. Uh Oh...after this we'll be fielding questions about the pitter patter of little feet. I don't think the world is ready for another mini-me or a mini-Bryan.
   

Very superstitious?

A wedding is fraught with traditions, lots and lots of traditions. In the course of skimming the net for wedding whatnots, I stumbled across a handful of websites detailing the traditions and customs of this lifelong institution.

Anyway, it all really starts with the proposal doesn't it? A long long time ago suitors would send a pair of gloves to their intended as a proposal. If she wore the gloves to church the following Sunday it signified acceptance of his proposal. The Welsh were even more offbeat - the suitor would carve a spoon and present it to his beloved who, if she accepted his proposal, wear the spoon around her neck on a ribbon! Not quite the bling we're used to. Ladies rejoice! 2008 is nigh! It is considered acceptable for the female half to propose on 29 February in a leap year...something to do with the 29th not being a "real" day therefore, traditions held no weight on that day.

Engagement, or betrothal rings used to be considered partial payment for the bride and al pledge of the groom's intentions hence the reference to an engagement as a contract for marriage. I believe modern etiquitte dictates that should the engagement be broken by the male half, the female half gets to keep the ring, however, if she ends the engagement she must return the ring not unlike our modern concept of sale & purchase contracts - if the buyer terminates the contract, the vendor gets to keep the deposit and vice versa. Yes, it would seem us women are chattels to be traded at the whims and fancies of the male species. Did you know that women have sued over broken engagements?

Engagement rings weren't always the diamond that we're all so familiar with these days. Until the 15th century, only kings wore diamonds and gems were reserved for the upper echleons of society...all this to maintain a clear division between social classes. As the years went by, the diamond emerged as the symbol of betrothal because its clarity and brilliance reflected innocence and purity, while it's strength signaled the hope of an enduring love. Thank God for De Beers and it's now legendary "A Diamond is Forever" campaign which firmly entrenched the diamond and THE engagement rock in our minds forever and ever Amen. All wedding and engagement rings are worn on the third finger of the left hand. The vein in this finger was once believed to go directly to the heart which is closely associated with love.

Your engagement ring signifies that you are pledged to a lucky so and so. For the material girl in all of us, that bit of bling shouts (or whispers, as the case may be) of your man's commitment to you or in some cases it can be an indication that he should be committed...to a mental institution...but that's another post altogether :p

Choosing a wedding day isn't made any easier if you want to stick to tradition.

"Monday for wealth
Tuesday for health
Wednesday the best day of all
Thursday for losses
Friday for crosses
Saturday for no luck at all"

Next you have to pick a month...

"Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last."

A longer wordier dictator-like rhyme is available here.

Then the colour of your wedding dress...

"Married in white, you have chosen right.
Married in blue, your lover is true.
Married in pink, your fortunes will sink.
Married in green, you will not long be seen.
Married in red, you'll wish you were dead.
Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow.
Married in brown, you'll live out of town.
Married in grey, you'll live far away.
Married in black, you'll wish you were back."

Is there no end to these wretched rhymes!?!

The commonly repeated "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" is familiar to every bride. This dates back to Victorian times when the the full version was "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe"... now where can I get a silver sixpence for my shoe? and what on earth does it mean?

• "Something old" represents the link with the bride's family and the past.
• "Something new" represents the good fortune and success in her future.
• "Something borrowed" reminds her that friends and family will be there for her when she needs help.
• "Something blue" symbolises faithfulness and loyalty.
  

My favourite superstition is associated with dominance and shopping. It is said that the first partner to purchase something new after the wedding will be the dominant one in the relationship. The perfect excuse to go shopping! Maybe stop at a kedai runcit between church and home??

These traditions are just the tip of the iceberg. I haven't even delved into the Chinese wedding superstitions and pantangs (taboos) yet! Google "wedding traditions & superstitions" and you get this. It would be crippling to have to organise your wedding around all these traditions!

On a more personal note, it's 12 weeks to the day and all is well. Parents are polishing off guest lists, flowers & pretty bits and other scary logistic things are all in capable (read: parental) hands and it looks like I'm on track with my dress although I do have a little itty bitty shoe dilemma.

We went wedding band hunting yesterday - B has FAT fingers! I can't believe that nowhere in this country sells plain wedding bands!! Everything has fancy swirls and whatnot on it. You have to custom order plain bands...oh the irony of it *sigh* To engrave or not to engrave, that is the question. Decisions...decisions...decisions...the list goes on...and on...and on...and on...

And the going is rough

So many things to do. So little time to do it. I'm so glad that both families are non-traditional and only demand that we do the bare minimum when it comes to wedding ceremonies. The flow has been decided now we just have to get the people and outfits for each.

I spent a few days in Singapore for work this week but managed to squeeze an hour for a mad dash to Arab Street to get fabric for outfits. I didn't have time to trawl the shops for bling as instructed by mother and grandmother. This is the first time I've heard mother say "don't worry about the cost" when talking about bling! I was overjoyed! Tiffanys??

Shoes. I think the pair of shoes you walk down the aisle in are crucial. It's the pair of shoes that will carry me down the aisle towards the future basically if you want to look at it that way. I'm refuse to wear a pair of crappy cheapo wobbly heeled one time only shoes because in my mind it shows that the event is not important enough to merit a proper pair of solidly made shoes. I believe you should walk towards your future on a solid footing and firm foundation. To that end I'm looking into the budget to see if there's money to get me a pair of Choos.

Dress. Design's sorted. A choice of fabric will be winging its way home with me in a few hours and I'll be seeing my tailor tomorrow. Once that's done then I can concentrate on veil, shoes and accessories. This is the one day you get to wear a tiara without question!

Hair & makeup. Sorted! Who else but the one and only style icon. I couldn't go for anyone less.

Flowers. As if we have a choice! Ken Florist was the only choice. It's all in good hands.

Receptions. Sorted kind of. Venues that can accommodate the number of guests are few and far between so it's not really a choice. I only have one rule - No Karaoke!

The groom needs to be sorted out so I think I'll spend next week doing that together with finalizing invitations. The groom always seems to need sorting out :p

We've embarked on a spiritual journey now that we're required to attend Sunday Mass on a regular basis. I never realised how many familiar faces are regular churchgoers. The bright side is the Sunday morning breakfast after the 8am Mass.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

We were reminded todat that the institution of marriage is not one to be entered into lightly. The good Reverend sat us down and had a serious chat with us about our intentions. Not having been maried before and not having spent much of my life in church, I didn't have a clue what to expect and so let B lead the way.

Before giving us the requisite forms to fill in, the Reverend asked us the following questions:

1. Have we attained the age of majority?
   
2. Are our parents aware of our intentions?
3. Are we currently married?
   
4. Are we of sound mind?
5. Are we entering into this marriage out of duress or coercion of any kind?
6. Do we have the intention to have a christian marriage and will our children be raised in the framework of the church?

Of course we answered yes, yes, no, yes, no and yes respectively. After impressing onto us the importance of the church as an institution and guide to our lives as a married couple, the good Reverent stops sweating us and hands us the forms to fill in. And here I was thinking that he'd be all fire and brimstone and that I'd have to sign my soul away before he'd say yes.

A church wedding is full of traditions, some of which may be outdated yet hold enough appeal to follow. One that especially appeals to me is the "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" bit that many modern brides still follow. If I were to follow this to the letter then I'm thinking an old pair of blue underwear should take care of old and blue and maybe I can borrow a new pair of Choos from some generous donor.

Another tradition is the bride wearing white to symbolize her purity and innocence...well! not in this day and age! Thank goodness for shades of champagne and ivory - slightly tarnished is the modern bride.

I've been scouring the internet and magazines for my dress and of course that of my wonderful bridesmaid and I can't find anything that we'd be comfortable in. Everything is puffy, frou frou or lacy! The standard wedding dress of strapless top and poufy skirt is a definite no go for me - I'd trip over the skirt and probably pop out of the top halfway down the aisle. I am so not one of those girls who grow up dreaming of her wedding day. The white suit ala Bianca Jagger is beginning to look more and more appealing to me. I'm warning you dear bridesmaid, you may end up in something frilly despite my best efforts to rescue you from such a fate. Please don't hate me forever.

Hair and makeup have been taken care of by a simple visit to the one and only Shahdon. all 3 of us go way way back so it was only appropriate that I ask him to beautify me on my big day.

A wedding means photographs! Lots of photographs! Pre-wedding shots are usually taken to show off to one and all during the wedding. This is one thing we may not do. The shots, yes but a resounding no to the showing them to one and all during the wedding...we're just not like that somehow. I'm hoping to get a good friend to do the photographs. I like his portraits and I like his style. Photographs are also very personal and I hope that by getting a dear friend to take our pre-wedding shots, his knowledge and familiarity of us as a couple will show through in photographs that capture what we really are instead of stilted photographs of 2 people who slightly resemble us physically. The personal touch is important.

My to do list for the next week:

1. Sort out dresses for myself and wedding party.
2. Finalise guest list from parental units and grandparents.
3. Approach printers for quotations for printing the invitations.
4. Sort out entertainment and venues.
5. Decide on how many separate events to hold.
6. Finalise budget.
7. Investigate flowers and wedding favours.
   

Fastforward to Bride - The Beginning

1 May 2007. That's the day life as I know it changed. I am no longer allowed to count myself amongst the singletons of the world, albeit with a significant other but as yet unmarried. The rock on my ring finger of my left hand now serves to remind me that I am about to pledge myself body and soul, to another.

So how did this happy situation come about? In a nutshell, boy meets girl, boy saves his number in girls mobile phone under assumed name, girl discovers number weeks later and hazards a call, boy takes girl out for a beer, boy and girl somehow start spending a lot of time together, 6 months later boy and girl resign themselves to being an item. Now fastforward to 1 May 2007. Boy and girl are on holiday, girl refuses to get out of bed, boy pops the question, girl feigns initial ignorance but eventually says yes. Yes the ring is a real diamond. Yes he bought it himself.

The proposal wasn't meant to be what it eventually turned out to be. Although B's really tight lipped about it, from the fragments of information that I've gathered it seems that he's been plotting for a while and practically everyone was in on it. The original plan was to pop the questin while riding the glass bottomed cable car from Mount Faber to Sentosa but in his own words "it didn't seem like we were going to make it so I thought I'd propose in your favourite place - the bed!". I'm just thankful he didn't do it in the middle of Orchard Road! That would have been a disaster...can you imagine me going "ok we'll talk about this later, let me finish shopping first" *roll eyes* True shopaholic am I.

To the fellas out there, if your girl isn't the type to declare her love at the top of her lungs from the top of Wheelock Place then for both your sakes, pop the question privately. Doing it in a public place with hundreds of eyes staring and waiting for an answer can be nerve wracking to say the least. Also, to me, a private moment between the both of you when you ask that oh so special question is infinitely more beautiful than the most publicly lived out moment imaginable. Plus...if she says no in public what on earth would you do?!?!

The parents have been told. Today we tackled the remaining grandparents. My lovely grandmother took her sweet time getting settled, seated B directly opposit her in her living room and conducted a mini-interrogation - when's the wedding? where will you live? you better look after her? and so on and so forth. B emerged unscathed, after all when your grandmothers were good friends and fathers went to University together, you're not going to have much of a problem getting accepted by each other's families.

Since we got engaged, it's been a whirlwind of attention. I'm not usually one to shun attention but I'm getting to the stage where if I could, I would blush, stammer thanks you's and run away. A big thank you to all those who've wished us well - now watch me lose my mind trying to organise a wedding...MY wedding *faint*

I must say that getting engaged and putting together a wedding has opened a whole new world of internet resources to me. Gone are the days I surf looking to perv at the latest handbag or another pair of Choos. Now it's to sites like the knot or Female Brides for information and ideas. Can someone tell me if there's a difference between a dress and a wedding dress? To me the only discernible difference is the price they stick on the one meant for brides. Does becoming a bride give retailers carte blanche to rob you blind?? For God's sake, an invitation card is an invitation card regardless of whether it's for a birthday party, coming out of the closet or a wedding!

Engagement annoucements out of the way we're looking at maybe biting the bullet at the end of August. A long engagement would just be a pain for the both of us. We figure it's best to just jump right in.
How do I feel you may ask?? I feel fine. Much as B popping the question was a surprise, I think deep down I had a feeling it was going to happen this year. Even his 4 year old neice has been telling everyone that we're getting married this year - psychic maybe? I'm happy, he's happy, the families seem happy, my brother's are eagerly awaiting ang pow's next Chinese New Year. The enormity of it all has settled in - this will actually be something that's forever and ever and ever, not until next season's collection comes out. To put to rest any doubters and dissenters out there, I have 2 words for you - I do.