Memoirs OF A Bride (Part 3) - Berbedak

After a month of living with my husband, today I'm alone when woken up (yet again) by my mum at 9am. This time she reminds me that my grand aunts are coming to lulut me. Its back to having functions after such a long break. I've had not only a preview, but I experienced married life for a month. It took a lot of getting used to, its not as easy as it seems but its well worth it. I get out of bed, changed into 'whats necessary' and they did the works. Had the lulut, a shower and then the tangas. Used my 'white outfit' and walked around the house finding stuff to do till lunch. I had a house call manicure and pedicure after lunch but after, I got restless.

Putting on the tanduk and the thing for the back of the head.

Stand hired from citra idaman (kiulap), bohemia crystal bowls personal collection of my grandmum.

I went down to see everyone busy. The grannies were mixing paint into the bedak to give it colours, caterers fixing tables and everyone was running around. Then I saw the box of door gifts and no one stuck on my thank you cards on it. I started carrying the boxes, unpacking it and sticking the cards on. At first it was just me and my Mamit. Then my grand aunt came and told me to not do work coz then I'll look tired at night. I argued out that if I don't help, the job wont be done and continued doing my work. More people came and I was told off again so I gave in and 'stormed' into my room.

Bersikut in the bilik gata with my two grand mum waiting on the bed.

My grand aunts who gavev me my tenunan for my baju berbedak (L-R Nini Usu, Nini Eying, Nini Acai). Nini Acai designed the pattern. Kain Kapit was given as hantaran from Nasir.

Moore came to do my hair at 6pm, 5mins after Bu Amas came for make up. Make up was done first and then the head gear. First the tanduk thing, then the thing for the back of the head, then the naga, then the sisir, then the white kertas flowers then the bunga goyang then the white real flowers. As bad as everyone makes it sound, it wasn't all that painful. Having pins stuck into your hair didn't give me excruciating pain. I guess it really matters that u had the 'experts' to do it. It wasn't that heavy either. I mean, it was heavy but it was bearable.

Enzo Angiolini shoes lent by Busera.

Me

8:30pm and I'm still not dressed! I started getting worried. Finally they finished with my head, had make up touch ups and then I got dressed (the quickest part)! Now I was ready to make my appearance. They made me sit to put on my tutup kepala coz if I was standing no one could reach the top of my head and got escorted by my two Bu Irings down to the pelamin. Then it started, first my grand dad, then Daddy, then Bapa then the uncles and some VIP Pehins… I knew I was stiff. I sat straight and tried to feel for the back of my chair but I kept leaning back and it felt like it was so far away.

Finally I felt it and I was able to rest my back. Phew! I had a slight running nose and I was sniffing away on the pelamin. I tried to signal to my sister that I wanted tissue but they didn't get it and my aunts told me to keep my mouth closed. They pointed at their eye and shook their head. So I looked down at a point on the carpet. At the corner of my eye I could see my aunt fall! It was so hard to control myself into bursting into laughter! After some time, the pengangun told me to not look down and look up at the people who were going to bedak me. So I looked up but the men were moving and my eyes automatically followed them so I decided to stick to a 'point' and I picked the mens studs. It was so difficult to stop my eyes from wandering with moving objects! After the men were done, the women started. At some time I felt my back started to ache. There were just so many women!!!

Door gifts. biscuits from Bakerlyn cake shop (Kiulap).

Berbedak gift for the women (comes in 5 colours) shipped from China (organised by my cousin). Personalised ribbons from UK (fourseasonsvillage.co.uk). Flower accessories from Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua).

Finally it ends, and I'm escorted up, found my friends and took pictures. My friends were telling me how I looked nervous at the start coz my eyes were wandering around. Now I know what my family meant about not having 'mata liar'. I'm glad I found a way to control it!

Berbedak gift for the men from Mangkuk Emas trading (Batu Bersurat- same row as Red Canopy Cafe). Personalised ribbons from UK (fourseasonsvillage.co.uk ). Flower accessories from Jakarta (Pasar Pagi Mangga Dua).

Next I had to change into my 'lulut outfit' for my mandi bedak. After that, I got in my white clothes (nicer one this time), had my accessories put on and did the sikut thing at my bilik gata. It was quite difficult coz I kept stepping on my pengangun's skirt. I did small 'japanese' steps coz I cldnt hve normal steps. Had 3 'rounds' and then stopped and bagi salam to my grand mums that were sitting on the bed. Finally I'm done for the day and its nearly midnight. Everyone bids their goodbye's but I'm stuck yet again taking off my accessories, removing make up and everything else. It was tiring yet so much fun. I cant wait for my next function on Saturday.

A text from my husband.

The accessories are all personally owned by the grannies. My grand mum lent a few and so did my grand aunties. My family back in Kg Ayer days were goldsmiths which is why its in the family to own bits and pieces of these things. My butterfly pin is owned by my grand mother. Her mum gave it to her as her wedding present when she got married 60+ years ago.

Unedited entry by the bride herself, Muizzah.
Photography by eyan.

Respondez s'il vous plait

So after a little wrangling with the parental units over the wording of the invitations, it looks like that's another thing off my list...now only a thousand and one things left to do before the big day which is only 2 MONTHS AWAY!! *faint*

A few rules of thumb when writing your invitations:

1. Proper traditional Chinese weddings will usually have 2 dinners - 1 hosted by the groom's family and the other by the bride's family. It is, therefore, very important to the oldies to state on the card who is hosting i.e. Mr & Mrs parents of the bride or Mr & Mrs parents of the groom.
2. People will be late. Stating in bold letters on the invitation "Dinner will be served promptly at 730pm" never hurts as guests have noone to blame but themselves if they miss the first course.
   
3. RSVP's are important. Set a date for your guests to RSVP by and if you've not heard from them by then you'll have to pick up the phone, flex that dialling finger and settle in for the long haul. As a guest, it's rude not to RSVP if asked to do so.
4. Make your invitations pretty. Noone likes an ugly card. Simplicity is best. Also, so many people forego quality printing for price. Sometimes cheap printing can be good but most times it's a case of you pay peanuts you get monkeys.
   
5. Make it clear to your guests how you expect them to dress. As a guest, turning up in jeans to a dinner with a formal dress code is inexcusable. I've half a mind to inspect each and every guest at my dinner and kick out those inappropriately dressed.

Tonight we start our marriage preparation counselling sessions as part of the church's efforts at preparing us for what's ahead. I'm assuming we'll be taught to love, cherish, honour and obey until death or divorce do us part. It's amazing the little things that you only find out about when you decide to get hitched.

Speaking of the church...while preparing the church booklet with the order of service, it's also just properly registered how long the wedding vows actually are. Must practice my serious voice so as not to giggle while reciting them. Don't think Reverend would be too pleased.

We're also on the hunt for a suitable roof to put over our heads. Time and time again I hear the same advice...don't live with parents. There can only be one mistress of the house and you want to be it. Me, I just want to joy of furnishing a house. Nesting is fun and gives me an excuse to shop shop shop and did I mention shopping?? :)

Got both our mummies together earlier this week and zipped through the guestlist and a few other things so I feel a little more settled now. Next thing on the list is to mobilize the soldiers and start assigning tasks to people for the day itself. The more the merrier I guess :)

Entertainment for weddings

Having entertainment at weddings can be a debatable issue for some. There are many options for the wedding couple to decide, depending on the venue, budget and the occasion deemed fit.

Some may choose to invite singers/performers at their wedding reception....

....while some preferred the sound of classical musical instruments or simple guling- tangan music at the background.

I have attended occasions....where even the newly weds entertained the guests with their own songs rendition and playing the guitar and piano. I thought that's a novelty idea and quite original as usually, the wedding couple would just sit there and watch others performing. At a recent wedding. there were some ball room dancing performance from Le Swan Studio as well as hip-hop and Michael Jackson look-alike. Cool!

At the end of it. it is up to the wedding couple to decide what is best for their occasion. It's their wedding day.. right?

Sharifah Eliza and Walee Part 3

My apologies for the late post. Been busy lately. Here as promised.. more pics from Eliza's and Walee's wedding. Bestmen and Bridesmaids getting ready to usher the king and queen of the day!

The bridesmaids had matching outfits which were designed for the occasion.

The groom and the bride getting cosy at the dinner table . Here, the couple and the wedding cake, specially made by the Empire Hotel and Country Club.

I think Sophie, the flower girl looks adorable. I have asked her to pose for the camera and she did it beautifully!

Czareena, Yasmin and Rose, the bridesmaids in matching outfit but with different finishing and touches on their gowns. Great fashion ideas for attending wedding events!

Awww.. Rockers at weddings? Nah! families of the bride wishing the best for the wedding couple as well as showing their penggilan outfits..

Last.. but not least..Madam Tiff.. in a flamenco-inspired designed gown.. Looks gorgeous!

White weddings

The term "white wedding" is commonly used to refer to a traditional Western wedding with all it's attendant customs and traditions. "White" is taken to refer to the color of the bride's dress which symbolises purity of heart, the innocence of childhood and virginity. In Victorian times, wearing a white dress indicated wealth and affluence but that's not so in modern times what with the rise of the rent-a-dress.

Some girls grow up dreaming of their wedding day, the one day in your life where everyone aims to please you because it's YOUR day. Some girls dream of white princess dresses with flowing trains and spend years planning their perfect wedding.

I'm not one of those girls. Have never been and never will be but I'm learning fast what it takes to plan a wedding. The most important things are checklists and delegation of responsibility. Gather your family and close friends around you and tell them exactly what you want and what you need them to do. Know what you want and don't be airy fairy about things. Give them specific instructions e.g. "I want a 3-tiered wedding cake with lavender trimmings" don't give them vague details and expect them to read your mind. If you don't know what you want then how the hell do you expect them to know? Next thing you have to do is set deadlines so everyone knows what is expected of them and by when. Lastly, don't constantly nag them about doing things. If you've been clear with your instructions then there should be no problem. Yes, I like the bootcamp style of organising. Tough love and all that.

There's 2 1/2 months left until D-Day. The venues, makeup artist and photographers have been booked, invitations have been designed and are ready to be printed at a moment's notice, the boys have been measured for their suits and my dress design is in good hands. We're finalising guest lists and mulling over menus is the next step. I'm still hunting for the perfect pair of shoes although my plan B are my bling bling Feldmans. The bridal party has been briefed and is ready to go. The parental units of the flower girls and ring bearer are hoping that the kids perform on the day :p

A few questions going through my mind:

1. Bling. Every bride needs bling. I'm still looking for THE statement piece that's just me.
2. Tiaras or feathers? or even a top hat with the veil!? What do you think?
3. Pocket squares or corsages for the boys?
4. Set date for pre-wedding shoot so our fantastically talented photographer can get us to cam-slut for him (not that we haven't before :p).
5. Hair - to grow or not to grow, that is the question. I guess I'm halfway there already so may as well go whole hog and ask for extensions!
6. Should we send out "You are not invited" cards so everyone knows where they stand :p
7. How do we fill a 7 bedroom house with just 2 of us??
8. Uh Oh...after this we'll be fielding questions about the pitter patter of little feet. I don't think the world is ready for another mini-me or a mini-Bryan.
   

Alhamdulillah

Heartiest Congratulations to
Her Royal Highness Princess Hajah Majeedah Nuurul Bulqiah
&
Yang Amat Mulia Pengiran Anak Khairul Khalil
on their royal wedding.

We pray that love continues to blossom for the royal couple.

Photo: Infofoto

Sharifah Eliza and Walee Part 2

Congratulations to Sharifah Eliza Elaine and Lft (U) Walee for their joyous wedding ceremony last Saturday night.

Here you can see Lft (U) Walee in white songket ensemble for the berziarah ceremony and white mess jacket for the bersanding ceremony.

Lft (U) Walee's friends came to give him the 'salute' during the wedding.

Congrats.. once again to a beautiful couple and may you be blessed with happiness always. Amin!

More pics update soon.

Sharifah Elyza and Walee Part 1

Saturday night saw the wedding of Sharifah Eliza Elaine and Lft. (U) Walee at the Royal Berkshire Hall at the Jerudong Polo and Country Club. Beautiful setting for a beautiful couple. In this post, I will highlight Sharifah Eliza's beautiful wedding attire designed and made by Josche Nelan Boutique. Hajah Zaleha was the make-up artist for Sharifah Eliza and she looked stunning beautiful.

Hmmm.. where is Walee? Getting ready to be photographed? All will be revealed in the next post!